How to Date - Part 2

Let's continue with How to Date, today with part 2. Before starting though let's repeat a little from last time. Remeber the definition we formed for dating:
"Dating is when two people are together with the intention of getting to know each other better."

I just think that takes out so much pressure of dating and relationships and makes things a lot less awkward.

Last time we talked about the 2 lies of dating and I already announced a third one.

3. Dating is a game.
Dating is not just a game. There is so much more to it and it can become dangerous to think that way because it is out of pure egoism that you see it as a game. If it were just a game you would only want to satisfy your physical/emotional feelings but a relationship is more about GIVING than taking.
Yes, God has given you feelings and emotions but he wants you to controll them. And how does that work? Well, turn with me to John 15:19 where it says:
"The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world."

The Lord has called me to step out of the world, remember we are in it but not of it! And by living that way comes self control which in actual fact is a fruit of the Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit will yield out of our lives if we live not by the principles of the world, but by God's principles!
But it takes us to make the steps and give everything to the Lord, WITHOUT COMPROMISES.

Therefore before I continue let me ask you this question: Are you will to give up your dream to get married/have a boyfriend for the Lord?

We have to come to the point where we are not dependent on another person but on God and giving everything to him, letting go of everything includes giving up your dream to get married. God's plans are bigger than your own. That doesn't mean that you are not meant to get married or that God doesn't want you to. It simply means that God is in controll of everything.

So, once we're there let's talk about how to make the most out of a date. And if you are expecting a candle light and soft music answer, you are mistaken... so, fasten your seatbelt with me and let's throw away all the old perceptions of how things have to work.

1. Know, that you don't have to date
It's that simple. You don't have to date. Let's read out of the book of Song of Songs 2:7
"Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right."
Love will wake up when it is well rested and mature enough. Don't tell someone your love them if you can't take the responsibility of your words.
Let me ask you the question: Where have you woken up love before it was well rested?

2. Know that men and women are different.
There's not much to say about that except that you should keep it in mind. Be careful of the signs you send and how they might be interpreted. This includes touching, hugging, the way you dress. Reflect on how you deal with these thing.

3. Know that dating doesn't necessarily need to be romantic and tight up. Relax, have fun times together but take preventive steps when you are alone. Meet up in a public place or open all the doors and windows. Be careful.

Therefore think about your attitude about dating. Ask yourself the questions asked above. Take steps into the right direction. Dating is a serious thing and you will want God to be the center of it!

I hope you enjoyed the series about dating and start going into the right direction. Let me know about it. Let me also tell you that each and everyone of you is so important to me. I do care about your lives. It matters to me!

In this sense

xoxo Ramona

How to Date - Part 1

So finally I am starting my two part series about dating. I am taking my notes from you(th) as we've talked about that the last two Wednesdays.

For those of you who expect to hear a list of things on what to do in order to date the right way will be mistaken. This is not to tell you how to date and get a boy/girlfriend, but to explain you that Jesus always must come first, that God's intentions for you are always the best and that it's all about stepping into His will and His plan for you life!
So in this sense let me give you two verses to encourage you concerning this:
Ephesians 1:18 "I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance"Psalm 100:4-5 "Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation."

So, what is Dating?
The world tells you that Dating is two people are togehter with the goal of sexually getting closer. But this is not what God has in mind.
Acutally the interesting thing is that you will not find two many verses to tell you, this is how to date.
Your parent's opinion would probably be that dating is two people who like each other and are over 25. Well, they want to protect you and make sure you are mature and old enough to understand the responsibility that comes with dating.
Your friends would probably say, dating is when two people from different groups of friends are together to romantically get closer.

But when we look at the core of dating it is merely what we have seen above. Why putting so much pressure on yourself by having to have the romantic atomosphere or feelings in the beginning. It can make a situation really disconcerning.

So a definition for dating could be:
Dating is when two people are together with the intention of getting to know each other better.
Hence, there is no romance in the beginning. I want to encourage you take out the awkwardness and fill it with meaningfull quality times of getting to know each other. How could that look like? Well, let me ask you this question: Does a date always have to be candlelight, dinner and a movie? Could it not also be a hike, hang out time with friends, doing life together? I honestly believe it can and I also want to encourage you to not only hang out just the two of you. Get together with a group. Experience, how the other person is around his/her friends, around their parents, sibblings. That's when you get to know the person's heart, the person's attitudes and not only the way he/she behaves around you.
Therefore, dating is the process of getting to know each other better in order to build up a FRIENDSHIP.

There are three lies about dating and I will give you two today and the third one in Part 2.

1. Everybody dates somebody.
Everybody talks about it but it's not true. Not everybody dates somebody and it is totally fine to not be dating. Often times it is probably better to not date in order to be able to fully focus on Jesus and draw from His love, get confirmation from Him instead of another. Especially we women would easily do this.

2. In order to be somebody you have to be with somebody
This lie can easily lead you into dependency of a significant other. Like I said above, sometimes it's better not to date to not get into this despendency, but to fully rely on Jesus!
Hence looking at both these lies we can see that initially it is about our IDENTITY, who we are and who we build our identity on!
Let me remind you, God wanted YOU! You are WANTED and He has a great plan for your life, so don't listen to these lies and listen to Jesus. Have Him in the midst of your life, build your identity on Him and be with him!
Open your spiritual eyes and see yourself the way God sees you!
Read Romans 5:8 and Psalm 139!

So to finish part one on How to date let me summarize this in one sentence:
Your worth is not in who you are with but who you are!


That's it for now with Part One, come back soon to read more about How to Date in Part 2.

Until then.... Focus on Jesus!

xoxo Ramona

How to Date

I plan on doing a 2 part series on How to date soon... So keep coming back to the site to hear more soon!!

xoxo Ramona