Saturday, November 22, 2008

How to Date - Part 1

So finally I am starting my two part series about dating. I am taking my notes from you(th) as we've talked about that the last two Wednesdays.

For those of you who expect to hear a list of things on what to do in order to date the right way will be mistaken. This is not to tell you how to date and get a boy/girlfriend, but to explain you that Jesus always must come first, that God's intentions for you are always the best and that it's all about stepping into His will and His plan for you life!
So in this sense let me give you two verses to encourage you concerning this:
Ephesians 1:18 "I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance"Psalm 100:4-5 "Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation."

So, what is Dating?
The world tells you that Dating is two people are togehter with the goal of sexually getting closer. But this is not what God has in mind.
Acutally the interesting thing is that you will not find two many verses to tell you, this is how to date.
Your parent's opinion would probably be that dating is two people who like each other and are over 25. Well, they want to protect you and make sure you are mature and old enough to understand the responsibility that comes with dating.
Your friends would probably say, dating is when two people from different groups of friends are together to romantically get closer.

But when we look at the core of dating it is merely what we have seen above. Why putting so much pressure on yourself by having to have the romantic atomosphere or feelings in the beginning. It can make a situation really disconcerning.

So a definition for dating could be:
Dating is when two people are together with the intention of getting to know each other better.
Hence, there is no romance in the beginning. I want to encourage you take out the awkwardness and fill it with meaningfull quality times of getting to know each other. How could that look like? Well, let me ask you this question: Does a date always have to be candlelight, dinner and a movie? Could it not also be a hike, hang out time with friends, doing life together? I honestly believe it can and I also want to encourage you to not only hang out just the two of you. Get together with a group. Experience, how the other person is around his/her friends, around their parents, sibblings. That's when you get to know the person's heart, the person's attitudes and not only the way he/she behaves around you.
Therefore, dating is the process of getting to know each other better in order to build up a FRIENDSHIP.

There are three lies about dating and I will give you two today and the third one in Part 2.

1. Everybody dates somebody.
Everybody talks about it but it's not true. Not everybody dates somebody and it is totally fine to not be dating. Often times it is probably better to not date in order to be able to fully focus on Jesus and draw from His love, get confirmation from Him instead of another. Especially we women would easily do this.

2. In order to be somebody you have to be with somebody
This lie can easily lead you into dependency of a significant other. Like I said above, sometimes it's better not to date to not get into this despendency, but to fully rely on Jesus!
Hence looking at both these lies we can see that initially it is about our IDENTITY, who we are and who we build our identity on!
Let me remind you, God wanted YOU! You are WANTED and He has a great plan for your life, so don't listen to these lies and listen to Jesus. Have Him in the midst of your life, build your identity on Him and be with him!
Open your spiritual eyes and see yourself the way God sees you!
Read Romans 5:8 and Psalm 139!

So to finish part one on How to date let me summarize this in one sentence:
Your worth is not in who you are with but who you are!

That's it for now with Part One, come back soon to read more about How to Date in Part 2.

Until then.... Focus on Jesus!

xoxo Ramona

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