Sometimes people come up to me and ask me why I am still single. I never quite know how to answer. Mostly because I don't know either. It is just a weird question but I try to take it as the compliment it is probably supposed to be.
Another thing various people have told me (or my mother!) is that maybe I am still single because I am too confident and too strong in my personality. Say what??? Those kind of remarks make me a little mad and very sad. Since when is being confident a bad character trait and not to be desired in a husband or wife? It does not make sense.
I admit I have a strong personality and I also admit that most of the time (not always) I am pretty confident. But these are things about me I would want my future husband to love about me.
Maybe what "they" mean is that it is harder for a man to approach or pursue me or any "strong" woman for that matter. Yet my attempt is to be approachable and open. I will be honest - that is something you can count on.
I think what it all comes down to is the whole subject of christian dating if there is such a thing. With so many rules and expectations, do's and dont's and a changing generation I am wondering if we are a) a little bit too religious about it and b) scaring everybody off.
It all has become so complicated that sometimes I think dating in the "world" is easier but I guess it often is just clearer.
I for one have decided to stop reading into everything and if somebody wants to have coffee with me that sometimes that really just means coffee: roasted beans, water... maybe cake.
I hope you are getting my point when I raise my voice and ask us all to just chill out about it all. If you like someone, spend time with them. Be clear. Be open. Be honest. Communicate, risk something, let them in, get to know them in a relaxed surrounding where you feel safe but where it also stretches you.
Yes I believe a man should pursue a woman but the whole who talked to whom first is just another way of making it complicated. Just be yourself and let the other person too.