Why am I single?

Sometimes people come up to me and ask me why I am still single. I never quite know how to answer. Mostly because I don't know either. It is just a weird question but I try to take it as the compliment it is probably supposed to be.
Another thing various people have told me (or my mother!) is that maybe I am still single because I am too confident and too strong in my personality. Say what??? Those kind of remarks make me a little mad and very sad. Since when is being confident a bad character trait and not to be desired in a husband or wife? It does not make sense.
I admit I have a strong personality and I also admit that most of the time (not always) I am pretty confident. But these are things about me I would want my future husband to love about me.
Maybe what "they" mean is that it is harder for a man to approach or pursue me or any "strong" woman for that matter. Yet my attempt is to be approachable and open. I will be honest - that is something you can count on.

I think what it all comes down to is the whole subject of christian dating if there is such a thing. With so many rules and expectations, do's and dont's and a changing generation I am wondering if we are a) a little bit too religious about it and b) scaring everybody off.
It all has become so complicated that sometimes I think dating in the "world" is easier but I guess it often is just clearer.
I for one have decided to stop reading into everything and if somebody wants to have coffee with me that sometimes that really just means coffee: roasted beans, water... maybe cake.
I hope you are getting my point when I raise my voice and ask us all to just chill out about it all. If you like someone, spend time with them. Be clear. Be open. Be honest. Communicate, risk something, let them in, get to know them in a relaxed surrounding where you feel safe but where it also stretches you.
Yes I believe a man should pursue a woman but the whole who talked to whom first is just another way of making it complicated. Just be yourself and let the other person too.

xoxo

Ramona

Day 10: To ponder

This morning on my way to work I had to remind myself of why I do this calender. It is not so that I post something everyday and come up with all sorts of things. No, it is a reminder to take some time every day during this Christmas season to pause. I want to provide you with creativity and beautiful pictures, words, quotes and ideas.
It is that time of the year where everybody seems to be running more than usual and people are more unfriendly (yes indeed) in the stores that I just want to scream STOP! This is not what Christmas is about. It is about celebrating the fact that God sent His son into this earth to safe us. It is a time to be thankful. A time for forgiveness and a time for love.
Therefore I challenge you to stop here for a minute (or 5), pause, ponder, rethink some things and ask yourself how you want this Christmas time to pass: stressful or peaceful?
What are the things you have to change now about your attitude?
How can you put a smile on somebody else's face today?
What are you thankful for today?
And then after you have answered these question go differently about your day.

xoxo

Ramona


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Growing up

Recently I watched this movie called Liberal Arts. It was a whole lot about growing up. One of my favorite subjects.
I am still in my 20s and sometimes I still don't think I'm there or have it figured at all.
I do think though that I have gotten a little closer over the past 6 month.Yet I'm not speaking about the negative connotations or about being a boring grown-up. I'd rather be Peter Pan than that!
One thing I liked about the movie is that it stated that there is quite the difference between feeling a certain age and being that certain age. I don't feel like my age but how are you supposed to feel an age anyways?
You're just feeling like you with all your memories and stories.
So I guess the growing-up part is learning from your experiences and being able to reflect and evaluate your actions, change and grow. It is being more secure in yourself, knowing what you like and what you don't. Knowing what direction to walk and what paths to omit. And at the same time keeping a young spirit, having fun in life not taking everything too seriously. Laugh. Cry. Just be. Enjoy life. Enjoy the journey you're on. We all keep on growing and changing and we're all on the journey of becoming more ourselves than ever before.
Let yourself be used by God. He has great plans for you. Allow him to shape you and give you more wisdom along the way.

xoxo

Ramona

My bike and I

I am back from a wonderful weekend in Dresden (more about that soon) where we celebrated one of my friends' wedding.
One of the best things that has happened to me in the past months is that I can bike to my new job. It's a 30 minute ride one way and has been such a blessing.
Every morning I get on my bike, so thankful I don't even find words for it. I take time to pray, meditate, think, plan the day and just honestly wake up. I arrive at work fresh and ready for the day. After work I get back on my bike and I process the day, let it all go.
This hour of being on my bike every day is like a gift of time. Time to strategize and dream and be creative. Time to spend with God and in prayer.
It is almost as if when I get on my bike no negativity or bad thoughts are allowed. Sometimes during the day things happen that I struggle with but once I'm sitting on there, processing I am just letting it all go, reminding myself of where I stand and how I live.
It is not as if my bike has the magic (although in my head it sometimes becomes a horse which I ride into the sunset, but that's just my imagination going wild and my being a hopeless romantic) but it is the time I'm given. It is a place where I can spend time with God. I truly believe we all have to find that place where we come to rest. Where we are ready to listen, ready to let go and be changed.

What is your spot, your place, your thing where it's just you and God, an open heart and a ready mind?

xoxo

Ramona

PS: This blog was a work in progress for the past week and I rewrote it about 5 times to finally find the words to really say what's bubbling inside.
PSS: I am also working on blogs about exposing your heart and why I need art in my life.



** photo credits to my friend Ellen

29

I have now officially entered the last year of my twenties. It is a strange feeling I must say because by no means do I feel like a grown-up or as if I have arrived, but I am enjoying my life. I know who I am, where I am going and what I want to do with my life. Something I didn't know to this extent a year ago.
Looking back on this past year a lot has happened. I have changed and grown in ways I would've never expected. And I am very thankful for this.
I am now not only starting a new year of life but also a completely new phase in life. Basically I am looking into the unknown, the unexpected, the adventure of life. Yet this time is different because I feel settled and open and ready for anything God has planned.

Here's to a new year of life, here's to the unknown and unexpected and to everything that`s yet ahead!

xoxo

Ramona

Unplug

I sort of fell head over into the new Season without anytime whatsoever to sit down and gather my thoughts about everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks (and I haven't even shared it with you yet).
But tomorrow marks the day of 11 days of vacation. I am flying out to Chicago to my friend's wedding. I am so excited to leave and plan on completely unplugging from everything. No emails, no blogs, no facebook or the like.
I cannot wait to go on this adventure and explore a new place and see new things and meet new people. Those are the things that fuel my creativity. For me to get away from everything for a few days helps me stay on track.
So, this is good-bye for a while now but you can look forward to many pictures and details about my time in Chicago.

xoxo

Ramona

PS: picture taken with my instagram (@ramonasebald)

The Fog has lifted

 7am. Fog still lies over the city but soon the sun will warm up this place and light will shine through.

xoxo

Ramona

To be continued...

Last Fall I talked about great changes. I told you that I felt something was on the verge of happening. Something grand. Something I had been waiting for for a very long time. And indeed everything changed last Fall. But not like I expected. I expected an immediate change. I imagined it to just happen to be solved and there in the palm of my hand to be grasped and seen and touched. But that was not God's plan. I was right about the change but so wrong about its undertaking.
In the darkness of this Winter in the attempt of writing new chapters in life and finding new adventures I might have lost sight of that very thing that I knew of last Fall. Change. The start of something big. The beginning of something grand.

At the Colour Conference on the very last night I was reminded of it again. I needed to be reminded. And where better could it come from than God's word. It speaks life and truth and it spoke right into my heart.
I am going to share those verses from 2 Corinthians 8:10-20 out of The Message translation:
"So here's what I think: The best thing you can do right now is to finish what you started last year and not let those good intentions grow stale. Your heart's been in the right place all along. You've got what it takes to finish it up, so go to it. Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what you can't. The heart regulates the hands. This isn't so others can take it easy while you sweat it out. No, you're shoulder to shoulder with them all the way, your surplus matching their deficit, their surplus matching your deficit. In the end you come out even."

So, here's to the change that is still happening. Here's to finishing what has begun. And lastly here's to continuing to follow my heart for I know it has been in the right place.

xoxo

Ramona

Time of Refreshment

As every year I went to the Colour Conference in London. It is always a very refreshing time. Time away from my daily life and all the things going on.
This year I had the chance of visiting friends in Worthing which is right by the coast. It was a beautiful day. One of those days where you are completely out of everything and time is of no importance. I saw the ocean, the castle where The Young Victoria was filmed and had a beautiful time.

I still have a lot to process from this weekend, but that is a good thing as I had today off and will have tomorrow off too. There will be lots of journaling, praying and pondering.

Hope you too had a great weekend.

xoxo

Ramona

Missing Words

I have started about three posts on the same subject but everytime I finished and reread it, it just wasn't what I wanted to say and I deleted every single one of these post.
Maybe the words are not formed yet, have not come to that conclusion and made their way out of me.
It is Spring. Spring. The season of new life. It has been a long dark Winter and I desperately am ready for new life.

xoxo

Ramona

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Surface

These last couple of weeks I somehow felt like living underneath the surface. A lot was going on there for sure and it's not like I was not present. I had just dived into the water, had disappeared for a little while. Maybe nobody but me sees it that way but it sure felt that way.
But slowly, very slowly I am starting to come out of the water again, making an appearance. Bit by bit, layer by layer.
Maybe this is already a messenger of Spring and all the new life it is going to bring.
Time will tell as I re-surface from the water.

xoxo

Ramona

picture via

The process of growing wings

A choice is a choice. And one could think that everything changes with that choice. That once it is made you will be free of everything from before. But that is not the truth.
The truth is that a choice is a process. The process of changing. Your mind. Your emotions. Your soul. Your behaviour. And although the choice itself will free you and and will draw a line in the sand the process that follows is what is key.
It is working through the hard days when old paradigms try to get a hold of you. It is fighting your thoughts. It is constantly looking ahead and not looking back. Letting the past be the past and believing for a brighter future. It is trusting God. It is staying out of the boat. It is the in between of having leapt off the cliff and growing wings. It is the in between of jumping out of the boat and reaching the shore. It is patience and endurance and prayer and faith and building new things.
That is why a choice really forms us and shapes us to become different and if it is a choice lead by God it is a choice that in the end, when we have reached the land, built the wings will have a made us a better person and will have drawn us closer to God.
I want to make these kind of choices and I want to allow myself to go through the process. I want to allow God to build new things in my life and carry me through it all. I want Him to build the wings and set the sail and carry me to the land. Because only then it matters.

xoxo

Ramona

To...

To writing new stories.

xoxo

Ramona

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The Aftermath and the Prologue

Today marks the first day of a new beginning. A new chapter or even book altogether. In my case probably the second part to a movie.
But as in many books and movies there needs to be some sort of prologue, a statement throwing you right into what is happening. A good start that gets you right into the story so you don't get lost with characters or places or names.
And this is what this is. The aftermath of part one and the Prologue to part two. The in between of both.
Before me lies a white blank page ready to be filled with words and music and movement. To be filled with new adventures and changing the world. The pen is in my hand. All I have to do is start writing. Writing history.

xoxo

Ramona

picture via

Change

I knew there would be change. I knew that change was going to come. I felt it, I could almost grasp it. It lingered around the corner at the advent of this Fall season.
And now I feel myself left in chaos hoping that soon the great changes will come to happen. I still feel them, they still linger. And I hopefully keep moving forward finally able to see it. That thing. That change. That answer that is just around the corner.

xoxo

Ramona



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Ignition

I grew up in a family full of love. Full of grace and with a passion to help people and show them the love of Christ. We have always had a home open to people and everybody who stepped in was able to feel home and welcomed. There were times when we didn't have much financially but it didn't matter because we always knew God was our provider and my parents were just super creative with how we spent our time together as a family.

Going to church was an obligation and non-negotiable in my family and I gave my life to Christ in a very early stage of my life. My parents always allowed my sister and me to be the way we are. They believed in us and trusted God that they'd raise us in a way that we learn to listen to the Holy Spirit.

Living their life the way they did and raising us the way they did they set an excellent example of following Christ, family values and marriage.

But over the years as I grew older and where I am now things become so normal. You have heard things so many time and there is a certain standard in life on how to do things. It's easy to lose a little of that passion and that first faith. But of course that is not what I want. My heart is to always grow and change and get closer to the Lord.

I do realize though that sometimes life is just sort of settling down becoming normal but I have never liked normal.

The other week I watched two movies in a row which touched me so deeply and stirred up some dreams and passions and desires. Shortly: Those things that have become normal.

I have already written a little bit about watching Slumdog Millionaire. That same week I watched Into the Wild. I had seen this movie before but it touched me again the same way. There are very rare movies where I have cried as much as this one. The same week I also read a couple of blogs and was just thinking about my life in general.

When I think about my life I don't want to be remembered for the things I owned or the positions I occupied or the carreer I have reached. I want to leave a legacy of love. I want to be remembered for the impact I had on people. That everywhere I go people will be encouraged by my actions and by my words. Life is not about positions but about relationships. First of all with Christ and then with people. I want people to associate words like Friendship, Family, Compassion, Love, Grace, Happiness with me.

I am not saying that owning things or having a nice home or car or clothes is bad. Not at all. I like to dress nicely and I love making a beautiful home but I will not allow these things to have too much priority in my life. Because life is about so much more. These things are good and needed and I definitely want to be able to reach out and be a blessing for other people also financially.

Another reason I believe Into the Wild touches me the way it does is that I don't want to be too comfortable in my life. I want to change and be refined constantly even if it hurts. Also what it does is stirr up my adventurous spirit. As a family we would not go on fancy vacations to 5 star hotels. We would go camping, driving to places or just staying at home doing day trips on our bikes or driving out to the lake.

I want to see the world, see God's beautiful creation and delight in it. I want to be captured by these moments in an adventure when you're just surrounded by beauty. I want to explore and discover and really see.

And so these things that have sort of become so normal were reignited and the passion and the fire started to burn again.

It leaves me now at this place of having to make a decision. It leaves me still dreaming about a couple of things. It gives me new direction and vision and I feel like I can see clearer, like that polaroid picture of my future has developed just a little bit more.

xoxo

Ramona

Summer Nights

I have always had a love for fire. Growing up we as a family would often hike or drive up to little fire places in the woods to make a fire and grill sausages or just enjoy it. It was our idea of picknicks especially in the spring and summer months. I would always be so fascinated by fire wanting to hold a stick in it to see the blaze in its full glory.
Today I still love fires. For me the perfect summer night means sitting around a fire with friends while the moon rises and the stars become visible. It means listening to the sound of the fire and the crickets chirping. I could sit there forever and just think, talk and be in that moment.
Yesterday Melina and I drove up to our friend's house to just hang out for a while. The few hours we spent there felt like a piece of heaven on earth. Not only did we enjoy food together and great talks but the things we did stirred up the child in me. I felt completely free and myself and happy in that very moment. We jumped into stacks of hay and sat on David's horses. We ran through the sprinklers to cool down from the hot day. Later we made a fire. We just sat there talking being right there in this moment without constraints of time. I believe it is in these moments that we grow personally and spiritually because we pause. We pause, ponder, rethink, decide, act, change.

And so as the fire was burning down I thought about the fire we carry in our hearts and how I feel so related to fire. Fire spends warmth, fire infects others. Fire is passionate. And I never want to stop being passionate about God's plans for my life and the things he puts in my heart to do. For I know that God is fighting on my side.

xoxo Ramona

* Picture from here
** my sister and I on one of our picknicks

Somebody else's eyes

This weekend my family and I took a trip to Munich to go to a wedding. My sister's fiancé (only 3 more weeks!) and my best friend came along. All cramped in one car we took the ride. We listened to old music from when we were in our teens, sang along and realized some of the lyrics and how not so great they were.
The trip was beautiful and fun and we laughed and all had a great time.

This weekend I again was amazed by how wonderful my family is. Sometimes you just have to see things through somebody else's eyes. Put yourself in their situation and watch it from the outside. And all of a sudden it all became more beautiful. And in viewing it from somebody else's perspective I started seeing myself as a result of my family. The influence they have on me. The way they shaped me by doing things a certain way. They always encouraged me to walk with my eyes open and really see things. Appreciate the beauty of a drive. Appreciate God's creation. They shaped my strong interest in history and culture and people.
We have taken so many roadtrips together and they left their fingerprint on my life. When I was little I used to complain about driving so long, wanting to go outside. Now I am thankful to be driving through the Austrian and Swiss Alpes, taking detours just to see beautiful things. I am thankful to take a couple of extra hours in order to visit castles and learn about history.

Now my eyes are open and I see God's creation and I am thankful. My eyes are open and I see my family for who they are and I am so grateful for how special and crazy and different it is. Now my eyes are open and I want to know more about history and culture and people.
Sometimes all it takes is to see things through somebody else's eyes to appreciate what is given to you in your life.

xoxo

Ramona

ONE

We haven't had this kind of weather in weeks. Grey skies, misty mountains and rain in between and honestly I'm enjoying it. Also I'm so glad for all the farmers. They were really anticipating rain!

Anyways here I am still sorting through the past weekend because it was so important and good in the end for me (although in between I felt miserable). So I guess this will be a super honest blog, but hey, I live a tranparent life and want it that way.

So, there was an incident after Leadership Summit which led me to feel alone and abandoned. I know, I'm the last person who should actually feel like that considering how amazing my friends are. I do know that but in the end and in retrospective I am thankful for feeling like that. But more about this later.
I then spent my afternoon down at the river enjoying the sun, writing my journal and with that I mean laying it all out before me, just writing and crying and figuring it out with God. Letting Him know everything and letting some things, some issues I had especially concerning my future husband go. It felt so relieving and good!
When I biked home a couple hours later there was something I realized and I was glad I did. This feeling I had after Leadership Summit was the same feeling that led me to start ONE in church. In this very moment I was thankful for being reminded of why I started the 20somethings ministry in my church. Not everybody has amazing friends like I do and my heart is to create and frame a place where people can connect. A place to find friends who make you become a better person.
Because once you've found them. They really do. They sharpen you. They challenge you and at the same time they encourage you.
At the end of the day and I mean Saturday that is what really happened as we took my friend Clarissa out for her birthday dinner. I feel honored and blessed with amazing friends and I want for other people to experience the same thing.

So here are a couple of pictures from that night.

xoxo

Ramona

PS: We're having a long weekend ahead of us so it'll be a little quieter around here :-)