The First Page

Yesterday after a day full of work I sat in my living room, candles lit and tea at my side. And I started the first page of my new journal.
For me starting a new journal, filling the first page with ink is something almost sacred (and I don't mean that in a spiritual way). That first time my pen hits the pages full of expectations and hope and curiosity of what kind of stories and experiences and God encounters will fill this book.


I had this song on repeat and it got to me in that moment, it soothed my soul. At that moment, ink on paper, and music in my ear all I felt was happiness and bliss. Delight. The kind of delight that makes you cry. And I cried. Good, happy tears. Tears of relieve.

xoxo

Ramona

PS: you can listen to the whole Bon Iver album and other songs in my Current Soundtrack

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Barren Trees

I spent this weekend at my grandmother's in Central Germany. It was good to be away from my normal life, from my routine from the things I usually see. It was good to spend the weekend with my grandmother. It was calm and it was quiet.
I went for a walk each morning in the fields behind her house. The crisp air in my face, the quiet land before me I took time to pray and think, to listen to the Holy Spirit speak to me.
I looked at the trees, studied how they grow. They were barren just as it is in the winter. In fact everything was barren before me.
And at that moment I loved it! For me seeing these trees was like seeing my own life. After an autumn full of change there is nothing left but the hope for new life, new growth and stronger branches in the coming spring.
I looked at the barren trees but all I saw were white blank pages.

xoxo

Ramona

Dreams | Visions | Goals

At the beginning of each year I sit down and write down things I want to accomplish in the coming 12 months. I like taking that time dreaming and setting goals. I must say though I am not a person for new year's resolutions. I rather live my life dreaming of things and making actual goals with timelimits to them. I want to accomplish things personally and spiritually.

Anyways, this year was indeed a little different and I was just closing the chapter and kept on rereading the last lines of this particular chapter I didn't even think as far as dreams or couldn't visualize myself in a new book and new chapter and new beginnings.
But this week marks the aftermath and prologue. It felt like I finally started to see a few things and by the middle of the week I started writing down things I would like to see happening this year. Then I wrote down dreams. Crazy dreams, funny dreams, serious dreams. And yet I want to dream so much bigger and wider and crazier. The kind of dreams I can only see happening if God is doing them through me.
And today I wrote down goals. Actual goals for this year.

I guess this prologue is coming to an end and I am soon starting to write new adventures.

So here's to that. To new dreams. New Visions and new goals. Here's to starting. Here's to building. Here's to creating. And most of all to new adventures!

xoxo

Ramona

Perfect Love

There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! - 1 John 4:18 (Ampl.)

I had a lot of time to think over the holidays and I did use it. Everyday I would sit down and contemplate my life, the things that were going on, the choices I had to make. I spent as little time as possible on the computer, barely read any blogs and almost never was on facebook.
That was a good time. A time of refreshment. Yet also a time of figuring out the next steps. A decision making process. An in-between process brought to completion by the end of my vacation.

On New Year's Eve I received my letter from last year and sat down to read it. I was amazed by my words and the wishes I had made a year ago and seeing where I am right now. Never would I have expected to be at this place. And as I sat there, crying, I saw this poster on my friend's drawer with that simple verse from 1 John 4:18. It was all I needed in that moment.
And so I made this verse the verse for this year. Because I want to reach out for that perfect full-grown, complete love. Because living in love means living a life of faith because when you love you are not afraid because you can trust in the almighty God and that His work in my life will be amazing and He has amazing plans for my future.

xoxo

Ramona

PS: I know I look like I am 19 on that picture... but hey... I'll be thankful for that one day :-)

To...

To writing new stories.

xoxo

Ramona

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Turning to Page 29

It amazes me how I seem to have a song for each season in my life. How songs come back to me only to express and give words to the circumstances of my life. And I have already updated my Current Soundtrack, trying to piece together some music that has currently been playing on my CD player. I know I will change it up soon again as times are changing - as I am changing.
But today I want to share a song I have shared before and it came back to me again. It is the continuance of yesterday's post.
So turn up the volume and listen to the song while I post the lyrics:

Have you read the script?
Could you picture it?
...is it worth the risk?

Everything I love
Is on the line
On these neon signs

But I need to know - when you looked away
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I said?
Well okay, okay I need you more than I did before
Now that the concrete is nearly set

Here in the second act I'm living in repair
Strange how the heart adapts when its pieces disappear
And there on page 28 I'm so tired of drying glue
I begin my grand attempt at building something new

Though I tend to write
The epiphany more immediately
I guess I'm trusting that there's such a thing
As elegance in dissonance

God, I'm skeptical of pulling scenes
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I said?
Please don't get me wrong - I still need your help
As history repeats itself

Here in the aftermath I'm pulling at the seams
Strange how the heart adapts in the absence of routine
And there on page 29 I find "new" and make it mine
But I can't help casting shadows on all I leave behind

Maybe I could afford to change a bit
Even let go of the reigns?
Every torn out page was worth the risk
Now that the stakes have been raised

So here in the final draft
I've given all I have
Strange how the heart expands in the absence of a plan
There's nothing left on the page, but I'm ok with that
For I found my resolution
Was designed for stronger hands

Page 28, Sleeping at Last

So here I am looking at Page 29 without a plan or a draft. The only thing left is knowing that I have an amazing God with greater plans.

xoxo

Ramona

The Aftermath and the Prologue

Today marks the first day of a new beginning. A new chapter or even book altogether. In my case probably the second part to a movie.
But as in many books and movies there needs to be some sort of prologue, a statement throwing you right into what is happening. A good start that gets you right into the story so you don't get lost with characters or places or names.
And this is what this is. The aftermath of part one and the Prologue to part two. The in between of both.
Before me lies a white blank page ready to be filled with words and music and movement. To be filled with new adventures and changing the world. The pen is in my hand. All I have to do is start writing. Writing history.

xoxo

Ramona

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