ONE

We haven't had this kind of weather in weeks. Grey skies, misty mountains and rain in between and honestly I'm enjoying it. Also I'm so glad for all the farmers. They were really anticipating rain!

Anyways here I am still sorting through the past weekend because it was so important and good in the end for me (although in between I felt miserable). So I guess this will be a super honest blog, but hey, I live a tranparent life and want it that way.

So, there was an incident after Leadership Summit which led me to feel alone and abandoned. I know, I'm the last person who should actually feel like that considering how amazing my friends are. I do know that but in the end and in retrospective I am thankful for feeling like that. But more about this later.
I then spent my afternoon down at the river enjoying the sun, writing my journal and with that I mean laying it all out before me, just writing and crying and figuring it out with God. Letting Him know everything and letting some things, some issues I had especially concerning my future husband go. It felt so relieving and good!
When I biked home a couple hours later there was something I realized and I was glad I did. This feeling I had after Leadership Summit was the same feeling that led me to start ONE in church. In this very moment I was thankful for being reminded of why I started the 20somethings ministry in my church. Not everybody has amazing friends like I do and my heart is to create and frame a place where people can connect. A place to find friends who make you become a better person.
Because once you've found them. They really do. They sharpen you. They challenge you and at the same time they encourage you.
At the end of the day and I mean Saturday that is what really happened as we took my friend Clarissa out for her birthday dinner. I feel honored and blessed with amazing friends and I want for other people to experience the same thing.

So here are a couple of pictures from that night.

xoxo

Ramona

PS: We're having a long weekend ahead of us so it'll be a little quieter around here :-)

Unstoppable

Like I said yesterday I feel as though I have to recapitulate my weekend bit by bit. It was an emotional one. Very emotional. In fact I even have cried myself to sleep on one of the nights and that for sure hasn't happened in a long time. I wasn't even sad in the meaning of sad. I am actually doing great. I love my life. I love how things are going at the moment. It was Friday night and things had just gone a little different and I was angry at myself for being a certain way and feeling a certain way.
Saturday came and as I was sitting at Leadership Summit (our monthly leaders gathering at church) I was just touched by God. The topic was How to be unstoppable and about God's calling and how we as leaders have to respond to critizism for example or how growth is healthy. And it's not like I hadn't heard these things before, but this time they went right in and I had to ask myself a couple of questions regarding my leadership and how I respond and how I handle people or critizism.

The question at the end was what is holding me back. to become what God wants me to be. See, all I want is to please God and become the woman He intended me to be to reach a lost and broken world. He has given me giftings and equipped me with talents and I want to use them for Him. Use them for His purpose. Fear paralyzes our potential. I don't want to be afraid. Yes, some things that God has given me are way too big for me but I can trust God that He'll do it through me. The ministries and things I do are not about myself but for His glory and in order to make Him famous in and through people's lives.

At the end we all had to write down things we are afraid of when it comes to our ministry and then we shredded these papers as a symbol to let all fear go. I let go. No more fear.

The reason I had been angry crying myself to sleep the night before was because I had put too much focus on my life rather than looking outwards at the bigger picture. The bigger picture is God's plan for my life and although sometimes I will not understand some of the things happening I know what my calling is. The ultimate calling for all our lives is to make Jesus known where ever we go.

xoxo

Ramona

India

My weekend was filled with so many different emotions and impressions and things to think about I don't even know where to start.
So I might be talking about some of these things throughout the week. But for now I just wanted to show you a picture from when I was in India in 2004 (the tsunami hit this beach a month after I was there). Why? Because I'm going to India again this summer with a team to help with kids. I am above honored and humbled to be part of leading this team and cannot wait to go back.

We watched Slumdog Millionaire last night and I have seldomly been touched by a movie this way. It broke my heart to watch it and I feel no words could give an appropriate explanation of how I felt watching this movie because my tears came from a place very deep within me. I believe if you see things through God's eyes you feel things with His heart and you get a glimpse of the amount of sadness and heartbrokeness He must feel seeing us. Therefore we, the Church have to rise up and be the change.

xoxo

Ramona

Old feelings

Ok... seriously... I found something out today. Ok not that I didn't know that before but was just reminded of how much our experiences shape the way we react in certain situations.
This might not be new to you or it may seem like the super-easy-I-could've-told-you-that statement. Yet sometimes we're just reminded of things when they slap our faces.
An mine was slapped big time today. Due to a time of my life where I was so not myself and kind of straying from all things, feeling little, unworthy and not enough I now am insecure in some situations. Don't get me wrong. This time is long over with, forgiveness has taken place and I have grown to be myself again - my strong self.
Just sometimes a situation occurs and the way it makes me feel reminds me of that time and I hate it. It feels as though I cannot deal with the situation and become really insecure and although I know this isn't right and I have to fight it and stand against it, it still happens. Not often. Not much.

But today it happened and I cannot allow for it to take roots or stay in my mind. So I guess I will verbalize it and speak about it because once said it loses power.

I guess that's it for now. I guess I'm fine.

xoxo

Ramona

Don't leave

I bought these at the farmer's market yesterday and as I unpacked them I just thought how beautiful to live in such a fruitful region with such produce.

And it is a funny thing now standing here saying, I love this place. I love this area, I love everything about it. The small town, knowing people, the rural area.

I live in the most southern part of Germany. It doesn't get any more south than this and no it is not Bavaria, but right at the border to France and Switzerland.

When I graduated from High School I was so set on moving away attending university somewhere else, a big city. The only places I applied were at least 200 to 300 kilometers away from home. But nothing worked out. Until the very end. I had applied for a university in Stuttgart but the company I applied for only agreed to accept me by choosing a university in my own town. Divine humor? I believe so. So there I was having to make this decision. This decision that seemed so not what I had wanted but as I prayed and asked God it was exactly what He wanted for my life although I didn't understand it at that time.

So I did. I studied in my town. My small town with a population of only 48.000. And I was ok. The first semester I spent in Colmar, a small French town I absolutely love but from there it meant living here and not only that but working for a regional development company.

Could it get any more obvious? Stay! Don't leave! Love this place! And so I started falling in love with this region. Falling in love with the lush greens, the summer months, the southern feel, the Black Forest, the hills and mountains and rivers and the way of life. Even the dialect spoken here.

And not only that. My responsibilities in church grew. There was a reason for my having to stay here. I was needed and this feeling of being needed of having a cause to run for made we want to stay even more.

At the eve of my graduation from university I didn't want to leave this place. I wanted to stay. And once again I was offered to stay, to keep working for the region. I gladly accepted.

And now a couple of years later I can still say I love my town. I love walking downtown and not being a stranger. Living an exposed life without namelessness. I love meeting people downtown and have restaurant owners know my name.

My life is transparent and I love it that way!

My heart says, yes I will stay because apparently God has different, bigger plans for my life here. Plans I cannot even imagine. But one thing I know: he wants me to also be fruitful in this region and produce good things.

xoxo

Ramona

Weekend Snapshot

This is a little snapshot from my weekend in Aachen where I had the honor of attending my friend Lea's wedding. It was beautiful, she was stunning.
Seeing people get married where it's just right and sealed with God touches my heart deeply. There is nothing like making this covenant right with God.

How was your weekend? What were you up to?

Much love.

xoxo

Ramona

Relax

It is already weekend again. Wow. Time passed in speed of light this week.
I'll be driving up to Aachen (5 hours in the car!!!) tomorrow morning to go to a wedding and I'm super excited. I just loooove weddings! But before I go, I wanted to say a quick hello.

Yesterday night was my only night off (meaning no meetings, no work, no responsibilities) and so Melina and I decided to throw together a quick dinner and watch a movie. Yes indeed did we decide for a chick flick. Don't we just all need these every once in a while. So we watched the movie, ate really healthy and just relaxed!

Happy weekend friends. What are you up to?

xoxo

Ramona