Friday, July 1, 2011


I grew up in a family full of love. Full of grace and with a passion to help people and show them the love of Christ. We have always had a home open to people and everybody who stepped in was able to feel home and welcomed. There were times when we didn't have much financially but it didn't matter because we always knew God was our provider and my parents were just super creative with how we spent our time together as a family.
Going to church was an obligation and non-negotiable in my family and I gave my life to Christ in a very early stage of my life. My parents always allowed my sister and me to be the way we are. They believed in us and trusted God that they'd raise us in a way that we learn to listen to the Holy Spirit.
Living their life the way they did and raising us the way they did they set an excellent example of following Christ, family values and marriage.

But over the years as I grew older and where I am now things become so normal. You have heard things so many time and there is a certain standard in life on how to do things. It's easy to lose a little of that passion and that first faith. But of course that is not what I want. My heart is to always grow and change and get closer to the Lord.
I do realize though that sometimes life is just sort of settling down becoming normal but I have never liked normal.

The other week I watched two movies in a row which touched me so deeply and stirred up some dreams and passions and desires. Shortly: Those things that have become normal.
I have already written a little bit about watching Slumdog Millionaire. That same week I watched Into the Wild. I had seen this movie before but it touched me again the same way. There are very rare movies where I have cried as much as this one. The same week I also read a couple of blogs and was just thinking about my life in general.
When I think about my life I don't want to be remembered for the things I owned or the positions I occupied or the carreer I have reached. I want to leave a legacy of love. I want to be remembered for the impact I had on people. That everywhere I go people will be encouraged by my actions and by my words. Life is not about positions but about relationships. First of all with Christ and then with people. I want people to associate words like Friendship, Family, Compassion, Love, Grace, Happiness with me.
I am not saying that owning things or having a nice home or car or clothes is bad. Not at all. I like to dress nicely and I love making a beautiful home but I will not allow these things to have too much priority in my life. Because life is about so much more. These things are good and needed and I definitely want to be able to reach out and be a blessing for other people also financially.

Another reason I believe Into the Wild touches me the way it does is that I don't want to be too comfortable in my life. I want to change and be refined constantly even if it hurts. Also what it does is stirr up my adventurous spirit. As a family we would not go on fancy vacations to 5 star hotels. We would go camping, driving to places or just staying at home doing day trips on our bikes or driving out to the lake.
I want to see the world, see God's beautiful creation and delight in it. I want to be captured by these moments in an adventure when you're just surrounded by beauty. I want to explore and discover and really see.

And so these things that have sort of become so normal were reignited and the passion and the fire started to burn again.
It leaves me now at this place of having to make a decision. It leaves me still dreaming about a couple of things. It gives me new direction and vision and I feel like I can see clearer, like that polaroid picture of my future has developed just a little bit more.



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