Wednesday, August 7, 2013

An new step of courage

A little while ago I told myself that I needed to be more courageous when it comes to men. I have a strong tendency to get a little shy and insecure (and anyone who knows me can testify I am NOT a shy person). I often find myself at a loss of words when a handsome man talks to me. I lose all spontaneity and get even more clumsy than I already am.
So I told myself that I needed to get out of my comfort zone. Risk something. Be bold.
There was this particular young man. There was just something about him that was very attractive, very appealing.
I decided to challenge myself and introduce myself to him. I told myself to get out of my comfort zone and that I had to do it and there was no way around it.
I worked up all my courage and went straight up to him, reached out my hand and introduced myself. Frankly I was a nervous wreck on the inside but I tried to play it as cool as possible. He shook my hand and introduced himself too.
What followed was a brief conversation in which he did lay his hand on my shoulder several times quite to my surprise. At the end of the conversation I wished him a great rest of the day and we departed.
There was no exchange of phone numbers or anything else and frankly that was not the intent of my introduction. It was not the reason for my doing this. But there could have been something. We could have exchanged numbers and that in itself is enough.

I walked away from the conversation, my whole body shaking and it took me quite a while to calm down again but oh the happiness I felt for putting myself out there. For being bold and courageous.
I walked away from that conversation knowing that I had just grown a little bit. That I can actually do this if I want to and feel the urge to.

And it is not like I am now walking around introducing myself here and there and everywhere. No. It was something I needed to do in that particular moment. I needed to proof something to myself.



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